Indonesian wedding glossary

Indonesian weddings use words from Arabic, Javanese, Dutch and English, and the family, the vendor and the government form may each use a different word for the same thing. This glossary groups terms by the stage you are in. Each entry is short, notes where meanings differ by region, custom or faith, and links to a guide (in Indonesian) for details. For the overall picture, start with the wedding preparation checklist.

How to use this glossary

Look up a term in the group that matches your stage. The meanings are general; if a relative or vendor uses the same word differently, ask what they mean.

• Variation tags. "Varies" means the meaning differs by region, custom or faith.
• Scope. Terms that apply only to Muslim weddings or one faith say so.
• Sources. Language meanings follow the national dictionary (KBBI); administrative terms follow regulations and Ministry of Religious Affairs services.

Akad and registration terms

• Akad nikah: the ijab kabul ceremony that makes a Muslim marriage valid. See rukun and conditions of a valid marriage.
• Ijab kabul: the guardian makes the offer (ijab) and the groom accepts (kabul); two witnesses confirm it.
• Rukun nikah: the required elements: groom, bride, guardian, two witnesses and the ijab kabul.
• Wali nikah: the bride's marriage guardian. Varies by school of thought; in Indonesia the order of wali nasab is followed.
• Wali nasab: a guardian by bloodline, usually the father, then male relatives in order.
• Wali hakim: an official who acts as guardian when no wali nasab exists or can attend.
• Saksi: one of two witnesses who watch the akad and confirm it.
• Mahar (also maskawin): the mandatory gift from groom to bride, named at the akad. Form and value are agreed. See what mahar means.
• Khutbah nikah: a short sermon by the penghulu before the ijab kabul.
• Penghulu: the officiant who leads and records a Muslim akad.
• KUA (Kantor Urusan Agama): the sub-district religious affairs office where Muslim marriages are registered. See KUA marriage requirements.
• Bimbingan perkawinan (bimwin): pre-marriage guidance attended before the wedding.
• SIMKAH: the Ministry of Religious Affairs' online marriage registration system.
• Daftar nikah: notifying the KUA of your intention to marry; the deadline is set in PMA 30/2024.
• Pencatatan nikah: official state registration. Muslim marriages are recorded by the KUA, non-Muslim ones by Disdukcapil.
• Buku nikah: the marriage certificate booklet a couple receives after the akad. See the marriage book.
• Rekomendasi nikah: a letter from the home KUA when the akad is at another KUA.

Proposal and gift terms

• Lamaran: the meeting where the groom's family asks for the bride's hand. Varies in format.
• Khitbah: a proposal in Islamic terms; in everyday use often the same as lamaran.
• Tunangan: an announced agreement to marry before the akad, often with a ring exchange.
• Seserahan: gifts one family gives the other at the proposal or shortly before the akad. Varies: some families call it hantaran. See seserahan contents.
• Hantaran: items brought and handed over; in some places the same as seserahan, in others it also covers money or mahar. Ask what your family means.
• Kotak seserahan: the decorated box that holds seserahan items.
• Balasan seserahan: a return gift from the receiving family; not every family does it.
• Cincin: the rings exchanged; not a condition for a valid akad.
• Pengajian: a prayer and sermon gathering before the wedding in some Muslim families.

Custom and ceremony terms

These terms come from particular traditions and not every couple uses them. This glossary only gives the general meaning and is not a guide to custom.

• Siraman: a ritual bath with flower water before the akad in some traditions, symbolising cleansing. Varies by region.
• Ngunduh mantu: an event at the groom's family home after the wedding, welcoming the bride. Varies by region.
• Midodareni: the evening before the akad in some traditions, when the couple rests and family gathers.
• Pingitan: a period before the akad when the bride stays mostly at home, in some traditions.
• Sungkeman: bowing to parents to show respect and ask for blessing.
• Pemberkatan: a Christian or Catholic wedding ceremony led by clergy. See registering a non-Muslim marriage.

Reception and vendor terms

• Resepsi: the celebration with guests, after the akad or on its own.
• Syukuran: a small thanksgiving gathering after the akad, usually for close family and friends.
• Walimatul ursy: the wedding feast in Islamic terms.
• Rundown: a minute-by-minute schedule with who is responsible. See rundown examples.
• Susunan acara: the order of events. See order of a wedding programme.
• MC: the master of ceremonies who guides the event.
• Wedding organizer (WO): a service that coordinates preparation and the day. See choosing a wedding organizer.
• Vendor: a wedding service provider such as catering, decoration, make-up or photography.
• Venue: the place, such as a hall, hotel, home or restaurant.
• Pelaminan: the stage or backdrop where the couple sits, often the main photo spot.
• MUA: a professional make-up artist.
• Prasmanan: buffet service. Gubukan: food served at stalls; varies by caterer.
• Buku tamu: the guest book.
• Penerima tamu: the people who greet guests; sometimes called among tamu or pagar ayu.
• Suvenir: a small gift for guests.
• Amplop or kondangan: a cash gift from guests; see what goes in the envelope.
• DP and termin: the first payment and instalments to vendors before the final payment.
• Gladi resik: a rehearsal before the day.
• Prewedding: a photo or video session before the wedding.

Document and legal terms

• N forms (N1, N2, N4 and so on): the common name for the village or sub-district forms required for marriage. Names and contents can change with new rules; see forms N1, N2 and N4.
• Surat pengantar nikah: the cover letter from the village or sub-district office needed to register.
• Disdukcapil: the population and civil registry office; registers non-Muslim marriages and issues civil documents.
• Akta perkawinan: the marriage certificate for non-Muslim couples, issued by Disdukcapil.
• PNBP: non-tax state revenue; the basis of the akad fee outside the KUA office. See KUA wedding fees.
• Numpang nikah: holding the akad at a KUA other than the one for your home address.
• Itsbat nikah: a request to a religious court to validate a Muslim marriage that was never registered.
• Nikah siri: a marriage not registered with the state; its status is covered in unregistered versus registered marriage.
• Dispensasi kawin: a court's permission to marry below the minimum age under Law 16/2019.
• Perjanjian pranikah: a written agreement between a couple about property and other matters, made before or at the time of marriage.
• Legalisir: certification of a copy by an authorised official; see certifying the marriage book.

Family and people terms

• Mempelai: the bride and groom. The groom is mempelai pria, the bride mempelai wanita.
• Besan: the parents of one spouse in relation to the parents of the other.
• Calon mertua: future parents-in-law.
• Keluarga inti: the immediate family: parents and siblings.
• Kerabat sepuh: older relatives, often given a personal invitation.
• Pagar ayu and pagar bagus: attendants who greet guests in some traditions.
• Panitia keluarga: relatives who help run the event.

Invitation and guest terms

• Turut mengundang: the list of relatives who co-invite at the bottom of an invitation. See how to write turut mengundang.
• Undangan akad: an invitation specifically to witness the akad, usually for fewer guests.
• Daftar tamu: the full guest list.
• RSVP: a guest's confirmation of attendance.
• Dress code: the attire requested for guests.
• Bukber: breaking the fast together; families sometimes use it to discuss wedding plans in Ramadan.

Terms that are easy to confuse

A few terms sound alike but do different jobs. These distinctions help you avoid misunderstandings with family or vendors.

• Akad and resepsi. The akad is the ijab kabul that makes a marriage valid under Islamic law; the resepsi is the celebration. They can be on different days.
• Mahar and seserahan. Mahar is the groom's obligation named in the akad; seserahan are gifts between families and do not decide whether the marriage is valid.
• Seserahan and hantaran. For some families they are the same; for others hantaran covers more, such as money or food. Ask.
• Lamaran and tunangan. Lamaran is the meeting where the proposal is made; tunangan is the status afterwards, often marked with rings.
• Registration and akad. The akad is a religious event; registration is the state's recognition. See registered versus unregistered marriage.
• WO and vendor. A WO coordinates; a vendor provides a service. See choosing a wedding organizer.

How to use this glossary while planning

Use it to share a vocabulary with family and vendors, not to decide who is right. When a term means different things, treat that as a prompt to ask.

1. With family, ask what a custom term means before you decide.
2. With quotes, ask for a written definition of package terms such as "basic decoration" or "full package".
3. With paperwork, use the official terms on forms and Ministry of Religious Affairs services.
4. With invitations, choose words all guests understand, or add a short explanation.

For the full picture, read the linked guides, such as KUA marriage requirements, the cost breakdown and preparing together. If a term is missing here, check the KBBI online dictionary or ask the service provider concerned.